Rant: My ongoing courier adventures.

Over the last couple of years, with various companies inexplicably ditching the flawed but mostly reliable Royal Mail in favour of the lethargic, self-satisfied, borderline retarded cowboys that call themselves 'Couriers' (I'm looking at you, Amazon Logistics), I have developed a hate-hate relationship with said remedial amateur postal workers.

Most of my war has been waged with Amazon, ranging from passive-aggressive tweets to outright pleas to just go back to Royal Mail, followed by a string of politicians' apologies until I get exasperated and stop replying to their messages.

Today, however, I was due two parcels from Amazon Logistics, and one from Yodel. Both had a window of 8am to 9pm for their deliveries, and I was at work and not expecting either. With Amazon Logistics you have to just clench your arse and hope for the best, and sometimes you catch them. Sometimes they take one look at your home and if you live in any kind of condo building they just blue screen of death and drive on, and sometimes they do a particularly sensible brain-fart and leave it with a neighbour. But Yodel texted me this morning, and gave me a number to text if I needed to contact their driver. So I did, and this is how it went.

Note the time difference between the bottom two messages there.

Now, I'm not being over-sensitive there am I? I'd made a request, they'd denied it, fair enough. But seriously, they could have said "Sorry pal, not in the area at that time, I'll take it back to the depot and we can try again tomorrow if you'd like?" to which I'd have replied "Sure thing G! I'll be in all morning, let's make a day of it, you can come in, have a beer and we'll play some Uncharted 2 multiplayer on the PS4 because Royal Mail FUCKING DELIVERED THAT TODAY.". I don't need to be sassed from somebody who hasn't adopted this new 'punctuation' fad yet, somebody who, in the connecting text between these two screenshots that read "who is this? wgat address?", managed to overpower their spell checker, Someone who's CV probably read: "I DUN BORT ME A VANN".

So I've written my passive-aggressive tweet, filled in Yodel's survey and vented on here. And once that parcel is in my sweaty little hands, those images are going on Twitter with all the hashtags and @ thingies that I can muster.

Amazon Logistics, however, rolled up at about 8:30 in the evening, and announced that one of my parcels was missing, presumed dead. I might get it tomorrow. Oh well, to paraphrase Meatloaf, one out of three ain't bad. It's not good, but, well, it's progress.

~TiD